Well folks, as some (maybe two) of you know, I have pretty much lost everything and I don’t mean my “just” my dog who was my child and I still cry every day over her.
My lawyer in the “mandatory” mediation screwed me over and apparently has a bit of a rep for being a lame-shit, or whatever, and of course my ex got my life’s savings and I was homeless (pretty much) and my pill-addict mother wrote me a splendid “disownment” letter because she has no money to help me though somehow when my raging alcoholic brother calls her (for forty years?) she finds a way to send him a couple thousand. He and I don’t speak, and since last year’s disownment letter, which is epically full of lies about everything, neither do my “mother” and I.
I am grieving my angel dog, still. I’ve found out who my friends are. They aren’t who I thought, and they are few, or one. Maybe two. I say to all who read this, don’t worry about unsubscribing, I won’t care at all. Just do it. I understand.
I can’t be “fun” when my tax lady sent me an email last night saying “ouch” and I can’t bear to look at what I owe. My ex is a millionaire a couple times over. I make $24K a year before taxes. My friends have pensions and I am just as smart as they are, but I never could get a decent job in this life. I don’t know why. Everyone insists, still, that I am so talented and creative and I make them laugh. I’m a “writer,” and soooo amazing. I have a high IQ. My biological dad did too. But that doesn’t mean you will make money or be successful or have friends or family.
I was going to try to write an ebook of humor essays. Of course that isn’t likely to happen as you’ve correctly assumed for years now.
I greatly appreciate anyone who reads or actually even opens the emails from this site, and especially those who comment.
Not sure what I am going to do, but the world is a lonely place, in the end you are really on your own in every way. I had no idea. I look back and feel stupid that I didn’t see things as they are. I wasn’t paying attention, I guess. Now I’ve found out that most people really are assholes and liars and they use me. Because I’m oddly naive, and I really am an honest nerd. I can’t find “my people.” That’s the problem. They are few. A wise man told me I am in this 1% and I thought that sounded like bullshit and arrogant to boot. Now I think he is right. So be it.
Okay. Self-pity session is officially over. On with your days! May they be filled with joy and success, especially monetary as that seems to be all people wanted from me, and now I have nothing. I got an “ouch” message from the tax lady late last night. That never bodes well, does it?
Please do unsubscribe if you aren’t into this shit. I hold no ill-feelings toward those who want nothing to do with this site and are tired of me and bored with it.
I will write, here or there, I guess, but I don’t know what. I will never be paid to write whatever “fun” shit I used to write. Because the world is stupid and most people are idiots and shallow and selfish and I am sensitive and actually pretty kind and overly-generous which you can argue makes ME stupid. I like my circular logic.0